Donna took me to yet another film:how did it end?

Donna took me to dinner one night, a pizza, and its been seldom since July that we've had one, and a movie the next.

But how did it end? She needed to go to the bathroom and by the time we got back to our seats, the credits had finished. The movie was exceptional and she actually said it was her favorite that we've seen at that theater. The light play from the begining of the film was nice; geometric shapes accentuated by contrast ratios. I eventually said to Donna there was too much soft-focus in the film, but I generally find that there is in many films. His shot structure varied so that he cut from shot to shot for an entire scene before using a tracking shot, his finally using a reverse angle cut in the middle of the film and then only using a combined dolly, a tracking shot during which he stops to zoom in, later after that.

But the story line to the film is established by cutting back and forth between the present and numerous flashback scenes, which becomes interesting when the two female characters are contrasted in the present.

Scott Lord

Scott Lord and Girlfriend:Boston skyline from Donna's Cambridge terrace,...

Scott Lord

Caviar on a crumpet with Donna, return to the gym to lift, Castle Films

I returned to the gym for the first time since June to lift. Of course I didn't finish the regular lift and didn't try to lift the same amount of weight as in May. Earlier blog entries have me weighing 135 and lifting 200 on most machines. Today I benched, curled and pulled down with abdomen and torso. After that Donna brought home caviar (whitefish) and I tried it on a toasted crumpet.
These three videos are the same films that I bought when I was in Jr High between 1972 and 1975. I would splice three plastic 150 reels together on to a 300ft metal reel and put that in a metal can.

Scott Lord

A bagel and cream cheese waiting for Donna at Holyoke Gate."I don't know what to say.I'm disappointed that you didn't call me after work."

Last night I thinking of going to the gym and resuming some type of lifting program, when Donna changed our plans for lunch today. In bed I just said, "It caught up with me.", meaning the entire scene. The night before I asked her about making love and when she explained how she felt I said, then that was my best to date. Whether it was or not I had added some lengthy foreplay that may have been more than sensitive enough to make it conducive later to a deeper intimacy. Today I called and said, "I don't know what to say." She may have been uptight about her schedule and I just added, "You can call me anytime. Then I'm disappointed that you didn't call me right after work."
    If I did happen to see my ex-wife walking in the cold while I was riding the bus, I'm going to try everything to keep that from Donna, even if it amounts in some double standard about men and their emotions. My memory of the ex-wife only comes back in spurts and last night they were slightly heavier and Donna has no idea what might inadvertantly on her part might all of a sudden jog my memory (peanuts-elephants? could be anything really),  but being reticient , if not taciturn, is the only need. It looked like I rode by her on a bus while she was walking in Donna's direction, so Hari Krisna, Nami ho rengay kyo: God Love You and Blessed Be- i don't need your life story just beacause we're are no longer married.
    I'm picking up Donna after an appointment; I went to Harvard Square to buy Norwegian Shag. I asked someone from the University why we play Holy Cross if we are Ivy League, but told him that I could easily just get a ticket to a game and enjoy it without a question if I just show up. I then went to one her favorite coffee shops, and when I asked for credit, telling the store person that I was waiting for my girlfriend and plans had left me down here without money, he offered to add a bagle and cheese. I owe him the later patronage, if not for a coffee and bagel. I was honestly short. If your my reader, it could be any coffee shop near Holyoke Gate and The Porcelain Club, it just happens to be one that Donna and I go to.

Scott Lord

ps. Embed my video if you'd like, I sincerely need to accelerate my study and or enjoyment of literature. What you read during a love affair is a significance: I'm presently in the middle of The Moon and Sixpence.

Castle Films THE DOOM OF DRACULA

Scott Lord

Why are there Mormons at the grave of Marry Baker Eddy? Donna and I want out of the evangelical movement.

There actually weren't any Mormons there while we were visiting, but I was trying to locate the grave of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and was a half a football field off. But I'm sure they were there and might be there now.
Donna and I are looking for a new, hopefully more traditional church. Feel free to invite us.
I want her out of the Evangelical, which she has attended with me in a converted Baptist. Problem- she wants to go because of an interest in the Bible and a desire to sing hymns. She had asked for pastoral counseling and was only given it very begrudgingly, and when it came they "laid a you're not a good Christian trip on her." So we made it to Sunday and, as an agnostic, I can only say that God is only benevolent and if not benevolent, there is no God and if so, benevolence is a good crazy idea to borrow and the Universe can be benevolent for all I care.
    Having asked you to think upon that, and its only marginal that I include that if God is Silent then is the Universe meditative and contemplative, what does the Universe take its time to impart, I'm sure its ok for agnostic writers to sleep with and have premartial sex with church going Christians, provide they hold an individuality that surfaces as freedom of worship. If it means something to the other person, it automaticlly can become part of the relationship. We would be honored to attend your church. She feels a belief and or relationship to God and I happen to be reading The Moon and Sixpence by W. S. Maugham at the moment and at this particular juncture in life and agnostic journey of footprints that disappear in the sand after they've carried you to where there is only water for miles. My older blog entries might contain explanations of intellectual things and romantic events that led up to this if you were curious or interested.

Add this to my new novel, I later need a chance to type it in, splice paragraphs together and revise:

"That's beautiful."
"Tragedy is."
"I don't know about that."
"I won't tell a soul."

and/or add a comment that gives me a link to your writing

Scott Lord
   

Donna had the nicest idea: a walk through Mount Auburn Cemetery

Cambridge, Massachusetts

    Donna again took me to lunch and dinner. I hadn't had a hot pastrami sandwich in 25 years, but this one was grilled with cheese. I told her at the Fisherman's Statue in Gloucester that it was "one of my beautiful places on earth" and for that reason I wanted to bring her. Mount Auburn is another. Yesterday we discovered a Halcyon Lake while looking at the statues. It was warm in the morning, but she had dressed for autumn, so it was similar to our ending the summer in Rockport in its being a beginning of Autumn. The foliage has only begun to change color and it isn't yet too cold to walk in the afternoon.
Mount Auburn describes itself as "a rare natural oasis-open to all-for serenity, solace and inspiration. Story Chapel is near the entrance, which we found to be ornate with its stained glass.
I was in the middle of reading The Moon and Sixpence and didn't have a particular poem I was looking at and the cemetery itself is far from being one of the oldest in Boston or Cambridge. In any event, W. S. Maugham writes, "Art is a manifestation of emotion." and describes the relation of the protagonist to another character by using the expression, "We took a fancy one another." and I'm waiting for the narrator to interact further with a female character in the novel. In the cemetery are Longfellow, Holmes, Lowell, and, among others, Winslow Homer.

Scott Lord

Crumpets with Donna, "I need you" added to "Goodnight, I Love You"

   Actually, I mentioned to her that the crumpets were like pancakes on the reverse side. Sunday morning were neglected church, in short because although she likes to sing hymns, her pastor won't perform a wedding ceremony between a Christian church member and an agnostic. I told him to fuck. I'm glad that I saw a local publication extolling a group of "non-believers adhering to humanism" because it reinforced my thinking of "Pray for people, don't send them into misery with religious quarrels." Compassion and empathy are very necessary to romance, to the extent that if you feel romantic about someone and insist on using politeness, while your being polite to your lover, there will have to be some kindness that will shine through. She often questions sex as being integral to love, to where I told her, "Just call it making love." so the game of attraction and being sexually attracted can be the chess game of politeness, that goes to a deeper level.
     We've been a couple since the beginning of June, so last night it heightened to where knowing that an "I love you" was expected within the plateaus of arousal, I replaced it with and "I need you", to which she responded with , "I need you".
     After we went to brunch, I took a walk "for a little while" by the river, which at that juncture is a canal untill
you reach a bridge. It was an exception, but we took a walk together later for coffee. Include crumpets with butter to my exploits.
     In bed I said, "I promise" and she said "promise what" and I replied, "That I won't tell you, but I just promise" What I was thinking was that I would promise not to remember her in way that would not include my trying to understand her as a person; that I wouldn't think of anything about her that  during our first three our four months may have needed my sensitivity and a deeper acknowledgement of who she is and what can be. For example if she was overly concerned with the will of God and his plans for man, which isn't exactly the only thing there may have been. Wondering if she is fluctuating between 124 lbs and 123lbs during a two hour film isn't exactly one of the other things that I promised to overlook either, but frustrations and stress and the inner workings of menapause probably affect many women. By and large, relationships develop in the same way characters in a novel become more fully articulated, so why not give a real human being the same patience as a fictional character would have.
     My novel: I came up with a scenario that Van Helsing and Dracula were both dead and Sherlock Holmes would battle Harker. Harker moving about and amidst the living.
     I opened my mail box after not seeing it for two weeks. The only thing sent to me by the post office was the WHRB Program Guide. Scheduled for tonight is not only Piano concerto No 1 in B-flat (Tchaikovsky) but Romeo and Juliet, Op. 64 (Prokofiev). The happen to play Princeton this week (At least Beat Yale) We'll most likely be watching a mystery in bed.

Scott Lord

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Scott Lord: Film (Samuel Beckett silent 1965)- "see Sherlock Jr."

I downloaded this in bed while Donna was alseep. Thank you Dr. Hammond and the Castle by Sea for everything: I like your impeccable library and its cobweb magazine rack: keep me on spiritual remote.

Since I don't use wifi, I had my Dell on my thighs after we made love. After we made love, and I'll add a love scene to my novel about my lips on her thighs and my arms reaqching up to lightly touch her nipples, we washed up and each had a bowl of cereal- Life (oatsquares) with honey is superfantastic. I uploaded the film into You Tube as she layed there untill 2:00. We have windchimes that we bought at Hammond Castle that hang from a Stained Glass Cross and I thought two things: it takes that to write and I was going to wish her a beautiful morning- not after what I've lived through was I not going to make her morning beautiful.
Please enjoy the thought behind Film by Samuel Becket. As someone who would have studied art, I prefer the descriptive love form for characterization and poetic prose to theater and screenplay.
     It was remarkable that while we were making love we got to where we only needed to say two things during passion:
"I Love You Donna"
"I Love You Scott"
Thoughtfully, she was sick last weekend and I'm that glad that she feels better and we are back to intimacy. I told her there is intimacy after after intimacy.

Love beyond all reason; love the reason for everything.

Donna:Romantic Evening together

I'm in a coffee shop: the last time I was here, Donna bought me coffee. Last night we took another shower together: I walked her backwards into the bathroom slowly by kissing her stomach while I was on my knees. It's my place to remind her that its the male that proposes marriage. And she's cute with her hair wet.  Her favorite dinner is tuna, rice, and cheese soup. She puts jelly on hers. I bought her a bowl to cook and serve it and replaced it twice-after dinner, she matched a film in bed and I filmed her on You Tube, but she asked me to keep the footage private. Under two minutes.

Donna almost my roomate, nearly my fiancee, I Love You and ask you to be in love with me.

      Can I make it a letter? Do I have to propose marriage one last time publicly?

       In regard to any refusal on the part of the church we were in today about performing our ceremony because I was introduced as an agnostic and they will only marry Christians, I'm asking that we never speak to them again. I want to offend whomever gave them the idea and concede.
       If  we marry? I asked you while we were in the shower together, you can accept at any time. You can tell me have accepted  when we're in bed- I never have to ask again. You have the privilege of accepting my marriage proposal only while we are in bed and I don't have to ask again: whenever you say if ever.

       In regard to your saying I Love You, "Goodnight". 

Sincerely, honestly, after all that, I'd love to hear it. The minute you say " Goodnight I Love You", I'll say Goodnight. Goodnight ahead of time.

Love,

Scott

In regard to my removal of any nude photographs of myself that were on this webpage from before we began dating- I'll be honest, I would love to know that you are physically attracted to me and if I left them on then it was because "I have a small bum"- allow me to be formerly concieted. 

But, I need you, don't  make it any less. If I say I need to hold you- I do. If I need to know you like or want my body, I do- for us, because we are us, because there "is an us". Us. If  I ask you to keep it intimate, I'm saying keep it us. About our living together: thanks for trying, romanticly- formally  living together would have been a beautiful way  to live, informally living together would have been a beautiful was to love. 

. If I say that you are pretty- then romanticly: Us.

 When I say "Goodnight"- Us.

For Donna: Unlike Magic-Not unlike Magic; while I'm waiting having coffe

Never enough time in the morning to say "Good morning, I love you" This morning I added, "Please do everything that you can that we might be together."

Scott Lord

Ps. I've written back and forth to the night time on air disc jockey and have recieved a letter from the host of "Nighttime Magic" in Boston, but he never seems to cue this one up.
PPS: It was "South Central Rain" in regard to any death knell.

Live like that, Live for it, Live with her. I brought Donna back a bathrobe,a nightgown and roses.

This morning i wrote: Live like that, live for it, live with her. I later amended it with Beauty is Truth. She was waiting for her television tp be repaired Friday and I picked out lingerie for her, a plush bathrobe and a nightgown. We exchanged the nightgown from a flannel with roses medium to a small sexier silky two piece. I took her for breakfast Saturday morning and the florist was closed, so that evening, while we were out having coffee, I excused myself from the table and got a her a dozen smaller (mini) roses while she was waiting. Point being she does like clothes and to show how well I know her, I wanted to bring  the bathrobe to her. Tonight, and incidently, I took her to lunch before and coffee after, we returned to church for the first time since our spending Labor Day weekend at Good Harbor beach. I left the study of the book of Mark incomplete, not typing up all my notes or glancing at any philosophy- we began The Letter of James with Chapter I for the first of what will be ten weeks. Again, I am agnostic, if not existentialist, and she enjoys singing in church. Hymns can be, for the main part, hymns of praise.
Apparently the book can lead to "Christ-centered wisdom" particularly about discipleship after the resurrection, the request for wisdom amist affliction, and a refining of faith when kept steadfast. My translation of "God tempts no one" was "Live like that :Love offers no other existence; existence offers no compromise."

The quote "Live like that" came to me after Donna had told her someone in an important position, "I love him very much." It was in regard to our living together or living together as married. It meaning was we had just gone shopping together or had taken a walk and I realized how important it was to confront the things that detract for how you live only be living otherwise and that once you experience romance and or happiness, it doesn't matter what else there might happen to be. If a quiet moment comes that feels like it is romance, allow it precedence. It might be an equivalent to "that was cool", but more with an exhortation of "that was what I was waiting for, there can be more of it".